ZEDD Cross Gene Movie Recap Part 1

So since the semester is finally over, I thought I'd go to bed early and sleep in since I can now. But the last few nights I've stayed up past 11 looking at k-pop memes and ugly pictures of Chanyeol (there are surprisingly quite a few ugly pictures of him, the members of GOT-7, and Taehyung from BTS, and almost none of Jin (BTS), N (VIXX), and Luhan). What am I doing with my life? 
*cue existential crisis*
And since I got about 5 hours of sleep last night (though not for lack of trying) excuse me if I seem less understandable than usual. I'm utterly exhausted. My right arm is hurting for no reason, and no amount of shoulder-popping or neck rubbing is helping.
*cue k-drama girl wailing, flailing, and hair-ruffling* 

Aaaanyway, today I'm going to start recapping a K-movie. This movie is not like your typical K-movie; it has zombies, stars a k-pop group (not EXO, but that would be So. Awesome), and is amazingly wonderful in that cheesy "oh-my-gosh-i-can't-believe-this actually-exists" way. Basically, the world has become overrun by zombies, and Cross Gene is trying to survive while continuing to do their singing and dancing. It's not a musical though--THANK GOODNESS.

The movie begins with Shin and Seyoung inside a black pickup outside some warehouses. Shin is in the driver's seat, Seyoung in the passenger seat. So Shin is the official driver of Cross Gene? He drove in one of their MVs...
Oh, and my sisters and I joke that Jin from BTS is a horrible driver, (even though he's the only one driving in their MVs) because he crashed into those boxes in No More Dream...but it's hard to drive a school bus, isn't it? They (Shin and Seyoung, not BTS) are wearing orange prison jumpsuits. Ooh, have Cross Gene been bad? Some chick on the radio is talking in English. "This is an emergency broadcast. Please take shelter inside a building." Oookay, wanna tell us what the emergency's about?? Seyoung flips the radio through a few channels, and the message is repeated in Chinese, Japanese, and Korean.

Shin (who is blonde, whyyy) whines that the radio makes him "sick" and Seyoung should turn it off. Seyoung argues that there might be something else on the radio. (like a gardening show or a stupid podcast about Lord of the Rings made by stupid people in giant hipster glasses that think they're  *so nerdy*??) (LOL, but that would be funny; Cross Gene listening to an English radio show about gardening and trying to figure out what the show was about--would Casper know?) Shin disagrees, dramatically hitting the steering wheel, and whine-exposits that it's been "212 days since Z-Day."

We get an outside shot of the car. I swear, my brothers had toy car that looked exactly like that. As is required in most zombie films, it's overcast and everything has a bluish tint (like everything in the Matrix had a greenish tint). Inside one of the dark(ish) warehouse-type buildings, there's a lot of stuff hanging down (you know, sheets of plastic and stuff that lets you see the silhouette of a person, like in horror movies), and various other debris you find in abandoned warehouses.

Casper, Youngseok, Takyua, and Sangmin are holding flashlights and rifles and dramatically tiptoeing around. They look exactly like 15-year-old airsoft players trying to look like Navy SEALs. They are wearing prison jumpsuits as well. Youngseok is wearing a Western hat, and is pulling it off veeery well. Okay, so did Cross Gene go to prison? [lolol] I mean, the choreography in some of their MVs could be classified as violations of the Geneva Convention *cough* Amazing Bad Lady and Billion Dolla *cough*, and coloring Shin's 
hair blonde is a criminal offense, but still...

Using a walkie-talkie stuffed in a pocket near the shoulder of his jumpsuit, Shin asks the building group what their "status" is. Yeah, why *are* they in the building? I hope it's for something important, like food or medical supplies or something. When he doesn't hear anything after 1.5 seconds, he screams "What's going on?!". Chill, dude. With that group's reaction time, you should allow them at least 5 seconds. Casper replies into a similarly placed walkie-talkie that he can't talk right now. Shin tells them to hurry, and does his crazy eyes and grin from Play With Me (Nahago Nolja). I think Shin just did that because he
wanted to play with the walkie-talkie.

THESE eyes. And now they will haunt my non-existent dreams.

The foursome continues on through the building. Casper and Sangmin have the top half of their jumpsuits wrapped around their waists (to show off their sculpted arms, obvi). Casper has a black tank top, and Sangmin has a white one. I'm sure this is very significant.They near a corner, where there is a long fluorescent (one of those words I still can't spell right as a college student) light swinging by its cord. Casper jumps out like an idiot. Fortunately, there's only a zombie there, and not anything dangerous like the God of Destruction, Leo (VIXX), or Satansoo (the dark side of EXO's cutie Kyungsoo). 

Casper jumps back and consults with his buddies on whether or not they should kill the zombie. I should point out that each of them speaks their native language (Casper Chinese, Takuya Japanese, and the other four Korean), and all of them are able to understand each other. Later on there's some English speaking characters. I guess that whatever zombified most of the world turned the remaining people into omnilinguals. Sweeet, man. Or maybe they have Babel Fish in their ears or something.

The swinging light looks a lot like a lightsaber (shameless EXO plug) (frickin' weird song, though--Korean guys trashing a convenience store and laying in giant sinks with their faces airbrushed within an inch of their lives doesn't exactly scream "Star Wars") Speaking of hot, Sangmin looks fiiine here. Weird. I've never found him that attractive. 

They discuss how many they've killed--hundreds--and Sangmin is like "LOL, I killed a bunch already; I'll get him!". The others yell at Sangmin to stop, but he steps out and happily blasts it away. Takuya's like "You dip, I said the sound would wake them up!"

Yeah, it was incredibly stupid to shoot the thing. It obviously wasn't a big threat--they could have bashed its head in with a blunt object. But we have to have Story and Problems and Tense Situations, so the rest of the zombie nest wakes up. The foursome inside the building take up a cool stupid looking pose and start shooting. Youngseok has Western revolvers to go with his Western hat. Aww, cute! Outside, Shin and Seyoung hear the shots and Seyoung starts screaming into the walkie talkie. (Interestingly enough, Seyoung looks a LOT like Lay here.)

Hearing no response, Seyoung gets into the bed of the truck and prepares to shoot any zombies coming out of the building. The foursome comes running out, the zombies following. The speed of the zombies is in between Night of the Living Dead zombies (soooo slow) and 28 Days Later zombies (really freaking fast). So, a fast walk. Seyoung yells at someone (Sangmin?) to not waste ammo. Good idea, dude. Really. Sangmin runs up and shows a box to Seyoung [?], all happy and grinning like he's a dog who just fetched poop instead of the stick you threw. The four jump on the truck and they zoom away. A bunch more zombies come out of the building to wave their arms and groan.

The title, "Zedd", comes onscreen. I'm not quite sure why the title is what it is; whether it's an acronym or a nonsense word or what. Anyway, we follow the car through the desolate streets of a city as the beginning credits (which are in English) roll. The music is actually pretty nice; your average tense, slightly epic, apocalypse videogame-type music. (I am so horrible at describing things...) The car is driving through a downtown area, and all the signs I can see are in English. So did they film this in the US or something? Everything looks really American--even the zombies looked white [LOL]. Going by the names in the credits, a lot of the people that worked on this movie were white and English-speaking, or Japanese. Interesting.

After the credits, we cut to a badly-lit abandoned bar where Cross Gene has set up shop. Interestingly, they don't call each other by their real names or their stage names; instead they call each other numbers. I don't think why they do this is ever explained. Seyoung cleans off a table and spreads a map on it, looking all studious and whatnot. Goofily grinning, Sangmin holds up a bottle of alcohol and says "Can I drink this?" It's funny to think that he's well over the drinking age, even for the US.
(Crap, I have to stop giffing Sangmin.)

Takuya, being the mature, responsible person that he is, tells him not to. I'm not familiar with how they act in real life (sorry bbys, if I misrepresent you), so I'm not sure if they're playing themselves, Flanderized versions of themselves, or characters entirely different from them.

Youngseok asks if they can start "playing" (Nahago Nolja namedrop??) and Seyoung says "not now." Sadly, Youngseok looks at a game box, which is actually the box that Sangmin showed Seyoung after they ran out of the building. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT THE HECK?? They went into that building and risked their lives for a BOARD GAME?? whaaaat?? This better be a really important board game, that's all I can say. 

"If I had to live my life without you near me/The days would be so empty/The nights would seem so long"

Shin and Takuya (why is that so hard to spell??) discuss the progress of their newest song [?] (it's "coming together"), but Casper says they're wasting time. Seyoung agrees "[their] priority is to get to the sanctuary." [??] You know, what, screw it. I'm suspending my disbelief and I'm going to relax, because it's just a show. Kick me if I start complaining about how unrealistic this is again.

Shin is like, "Well...yeah, but "we can't forget what we do best together." Wellll, I just thought of about 10 really dirty things. It's Shin's fault, with the fanservice he does. And actually, Cross Gene has been making some really funny parodies lately. Shin further exposits that movies and music are the only things keeping normal people from turning into zombies, and that life is meaningless without them. Well...that's kind of cool. And original, at least. No stupid viruses for this movie! (I'm not being sarcastic) Meanwhile, Youngseok and Sangmin have opened the game and started playing with the pieces. Aww. Casper needs to chill and play with the rest of Cross Gene. Embrace his inner kid and whatnot. Okay, I GUESS you could make the argument that the game is important because without it they would turn into zombies...

Casper rationally points out that there's no one around to hear their song, which shuts Shin up. Casper and Takuya argue whether or not they should have a goal (to make their lives more meaningful) or just try to survive. I have to admit, it's cool to hear them argue in 3 languages. And Casper's accent is not nearly as irritating as the accents in the C-drama "Ode To Joy." Seyoung is like "Shut up, y'all. We need to discuss what we're going to do tomorrow." Huh, lemme guess. Are they going to make an intrepid endeavor into an abandoned Costco to find a Chutes and Ladders game? (Wait, Costco doesn't sell Chutes and Ladders games, do they?)

As the rest of Cross Gene heads towards Seyoung's table, Takuya stops Shin and gives him a belt. Shin is overjoyed, like a little kid (a little kid who's really overacting) on Christmas. Apparently, it's the "transforming belt from the second Cross Rider." [??] I googled that, and all the results I found were for a computer virus. Yeah. So I guess this "Cross Rider" is a fictional anime or something  that only exists in the Zedd universe. He puts it on and heads to Seyoung's table. 

Pointing to the map, Seyoung explains that they're close to where he thinks the sanctuary is--at the entrance to "Marina Macau". So...they're on the peninsula of Macau, the "Special Administrative Region" of China Macau? (Yeah, look at me, professors. I'm being rebellious and linking to WIKIPEDIA!!) I guess that's not *too* far off from my original guess of Hawaii. The movie was filmed in LA, apparently.

So, any guesses as to what's stopping them from getting to the sanctuary? An angry horde of zombies? An angry horde of paparazzi? A drooling herd of fangirls? No gas? No ammo? Nope, it's a riddle. 

(The love of my sister's life, Kim Taehyung)

Not saying anything. Not saying anything. It's just a show, and I'm relaxing. Here it is. See if you can figure it out before our intrepid detectives do.
"3/7 and 17/24 arrive each time. The gate to the sanctuary opens on the road where there is no road." I don't know how well that translates to/from Korean, Japanese, Chinese, and English, but the riddle seems all Greek to me. Anyway, major kudos to the writers and translators--it seems like it would be hard to make a movie in 4 languages and have it still make sense. Sangmin grins like a 12-year-old who just heard something dirty.

Holding his chin in his hand like an adorable little Korean Sherlock, Youngseok says that they should search for ideas "efficiently", not "blindly." The others "whoah" like he just said something extremely insightful, and Youngseok cutely shrugs it off. Seyoung chimes in, saying they need to save gas and bullets. He looks pointedly at Sangmin as he says the last bit. Casper and Youngseok point out that there might not be anything at Marina Macau,
because they haven't heard anything on the radio in a month. Seyoung replies that they have to try. 

Sangmin: Okay, done with the boring stuff. Let's play!
Seyoung (AKA Wet Blanket): Wait, we have to think of ideas.
Shin: *grins manaically*
Sangmin: "No one ever thinks of anything anyway." (story brainstorming sessions with my sister in a nutshell)
Shin: I agree!
The others run off and start gabbling over the game, leaving Seyoung all by his lonesome. He walks outside (with his gun of course, he's not an idiot) and sits down.

Youngseok, who noticed him leaving, follows him outside. Apparently, Youngseok has a vest, cowboy boots, and spurs to complete his ensemble. My sister said a while back that Korean guys should dress up in Western outfits (along with the myriad of other costumes they wear--seriously, WHY does TOP have one of those Buckingham palace guard hats in Bang Bang Bang?), because they would look really hot. Well, she was right.

Anyway, they discuss their priorities: Seyoung is for finding the sanctuary, whereas Youngseok is of the opinion that they "need proof [they] are alive." Youngseok says that he and "Thirteen" (Shin?) have been making dance moves for their new song, and does some of the choreography for Billion Dolla. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Cross Gene REALLY REALLY needs a new choreographer. Seyoung replies in a deadpan tone, "Is that necessary?" What, having choreography for the song or the actual moves themselves? 

Youngseok replies that they need a "cool" dance for their "future world tour", (PLS DO A WORLD TOUR CROSS GENE) then keeps doing the very un-cool dance. He tries to get Seyoung to join him, but Wet Blanket Seyoung goes back inside, leaving Youngseok to stare gloomily at the dead world by himself. The music in this scene is very nice; it's that ambient space-type music that makes you feel like you're floating in a massive void and puts you to sleep.