EXO Next Door (우리 옆집에 EXO가 산다) Episode 12 Recap

Previously: Yeonhee is happy about being D.O.'s acting partner. We learn that Yeonhee and Chanyeol knew each other when they were kids. Chanyeol tries to surreptitiously tell her this, but she's too dense to remember who he is. Gaeun tells Yeonhee to join EXO's fan club. Sehun and Gwangsu figure out that Chanyeol and Yeonhee used to know each other. Sehun tells D.O.

Chanyeol's Room:
We open on Chanyeol yelling like a foghorn (cuz he has a deep voice, see, ha ha), telling Baekhyun (who is remarkably chill and rational compared to Real Baekhyun) that he's "screwed". Chanyeol worries that he's not able to think of a melody, and tells Baekhyun to find another song writer. Baekhyun, meanwhile, is worried about Suho: he's "depressed" and doing badly because he's alone in the hospital. First: Wait, what? He looked fine at the photoshoot...why is he back in the hospital? Second: aww, poor Suho bby!

We get a quick flashback of Suho's narm-y moment after he tripped over homicidal Water Bottle. (ㅋㅋㅋ) Chanyeol leaps up and leaves his room, muttering that he has to find "it" (the necklace, presumably). In the kitchen, Sehun and D.O. are drinking out of cutesy teddy bear cups, and discussing whether or not they should tell Chanyeol they know his Deep Dark Secret. Chanyeol stalks into the kitchen as if he's been summoned by their worried whispering, jerks open the fridge, grabs a water bottle (of the non-homicidal variety, hopefully), slams the door closed, and angrily takes a drink. Ooh, you should have checked to see if Yeonhee already took a sip, dude. You wouldn't want an indirect kiss, would you? He stops when he notices Sehun and D.O. looking at him like he just peed on the carpet. 

"We're very disappointed in you, son."

He yells at them and stalks out, so they decide to save the Dramatic Reveal for later--you know, to make the story and drama as long and drawn-out as possible as they can be in a web series--come on, there's five twelve-minute episodes left. Do you really think they'd let Chanyeol and Yeonhee "get together" when there's an hour left? Yeah. Didn't think so.

Cut to Yeonhee hallucinating/dreaming that she's in the palm of Chanyeol's grandpa's hand and no matter how much she runs, she'll never escape his giant palm. [??] Is this like having a bad trip when you're on shrooms or LSD or whatever makes you have bad trips? He says he'll let her go if she answers the riddle "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer is red. What else is red?" *headdesk* Yeonhee, in her infinite (heh) wisdom, answers "apple" and "Hyuna" (that chick that sings with one of the guys in Beast or something). I guess she said that because one of Hyuna's songs is called Red??



Thinking she's doomed to an eternity of running in Chanyeol's 할아버지's  palm forever, Yeonhee screeches and falls on the floor of her room wrapped in a blanket. Thank goodness it was just a dream--it would be difficult to explain why she was tripping on shrooms in a cheesy squeaky clean webseries like this one. (BTW, why is squeaky clean actually good? If the floor squeaks, that scares me, and I fall. If my teeth squeak, they hurt. Is it normal for teeth to squeak? Google says maybe.)

Anyway, Mama yells at Yeonhee for "sleeping with her eyes closed." [??] What, does she think Yeonhee should sleep with her eyes open like Spock or something? Yeonhee says that she was dreaming about "Chan's" grandpa because she kept going next door. Oh, so she remembers his grandpa but not him? Just...I...whatever...

Chanyeol enters the living room/foosball room/Blah Blah Blah room of House EXO and glares at the walls like he expects them to start bowing and tearfully 죄송합니다-ing and revealing all their secrets. He begins searching again with renewed vigor. Irritated with his lack of success, he takes off the long sweater he's been wearing (it looks like a cross between a trench coat and a bathrobe), and hangs it on a coat/hat tree.

The hook he hangs it on goes down, and a door opens up in the wall. OK. Give me a moment to laugh. A shocked Chanyeol enters the dark, dusty secret room(s), one of which--guess what--is the record/grandpa room where his grandpa gave Little Chanyeol the necklace in the flashback. Okay, *why* didn't he remember the secret room? Seriously, if I would have known about a secret room as a kid, that shiz would have stuck in my brain better than...uh...flypaper. And...gorilla glue. And even if the room was always open (and therefore not secret) wouldn't he remember that there was a room missing in the house?

And then the ghost of his grandpa jumps out with a bloody ax, a la Supernatural.

As Chanyeol searches the room, we get some nice piano music that sounds like the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack in a minor key. In the Blah Blah Blah room, Yeonhee finds the picture, which D.O. and Sehun apparently left laying there. Idiots. Wanna guess whether she recognizes Chanyeol or not? Nope. She doesn't. Gotta milk that tension and "dramatic reveal" for all it's worth. She gets PO'd that a picture of her is there, blames it on Gwangsu, and throws it into her laundry basket.

Noticing Chanyeol's sweater hanging on the coat tree (cuz it's just SO weird to see a sweater on one of those), she goes to investigate. Noticing the HUGE FREAKING HOLE in the wall, she takes the sweater off the coat tree and goes inside the secret room (well, actually, it's a hallway leading to several secret rooms) with her laundry basket. As she goes in, the hook flips up again, and the door (which is a sliding bookshelf) closes. 

So Chanyeol and Yeonhee are probably going to be trapped in there for a while. And they'll end up having a giant argument and killing each other. Like dogs. Chanyeol hears her cry of distress and goes to investigate. In an asinine attempt to hide, Yeonhee sits in a corner of the secret hallway and puts the laundry basket over her head, like a little kid who thinks they're invisible when they cover their eyes. Of course her legs are still plainly visible. But yeah, comedy or whatever. Chanyeol is having none of this. He slaps the laundry basket and tells her to knock it off. (The only appropriate response.)

Yeonhee gets up, leaving the laundry basket and its scattered contents by the door, and follows Chanyeol into the Record Room. Hmm, I wonder what's going to happen to the picture. Yeonhee wonders what the place is, and Chanyeol curtly replies that it's none of her business (lol, he can't answer because he doesn't know himself), and then starts messing with some records and grinning. Huh, I think this is the first time he's smiled in this whole dang show. Except for maybe during the flashbacks.

Yeonhee gives him a stare. Yeah, like, really, who grins at boring old records? 

Chanyeol's like "hey u like me bby? ;)" Well, someone's undergone a massive personality change. Trying to change the subject, Yeonhee muses that it must have been "할아버지's" secret hideout. She digs around and finds a hot pink jump rope (snicker) and says that her friend used to live there too. *sigh* Excuse me for a moment while I ram my head through my desk. 

She says that her friend (Little Chanyeol, obvi) gave her the jump rope so that when her face got red, she could say that her face was red from jumping rope (and totally not because she's a weird freak who blushes when she's six and no kid should do that ever unless they're embarrassed or mad). Smirking "devilishly" (ugh, I hate to use that word, brings back memories of horrible YA "fiction" and stupid stupid romance novels set in Victorian London where the hero is a vampire or some rich dude that walks around half undressed all the time and is so sexually experienced and the girl is a virgin and they do it and it's SO GOOD for the girl and she's so stupid and he's so devilishly smirking deviled eggs and she thinks he's some kind of sex god and he thinks he's the greatest thing in the world EVAR and gaaaaahhh), Chanyeol says, "What a smart six year old."

Yeonhee still doesn't get it, because I guess a little of her brain matter leaks out her ears every time she blushes. Saddened/irritated/gassy/constipated/diarrhea-y that she STILL doesn't remember him, Chanyeol says it's time to leave. It comes as no surprise, of course, that the door is locked and they are trapped inside the secret room(s). Let's hope none of them farts or has to pee.

Chanyeol blames her for closing the door, complains about the laundry she brought in, and says he doesn't have a key. Neither of them have their phones either. Real Chanyeol does a very unconvincing job of being PO'd, and softly bangs his head against a door jamb. Gotta keep that face pretty. It's a moneymaker. Chanyeol and Yeonhee bang on the bookcase door and yell. Chanyeol yells for Baekhyun and Sehun, but not D.O. Heh. If I was D.O., and I was listening, I'd be like "He didn't call for me? Screw them," and leave them in there to rot.

Meanwhile, Baekhyun and Sehun are loudly playing video games together and mock wrestling. Ah yes. It's been waaaay too long since we got some skinship/fanservice. 

Gwangsu and Mama are asleep on the couch (presumably in House Yeonhee) leaning on each other and snoring loudly. Disturbingly enough, I can't figure out who's snoring. As odd as this may look to Americans unfamiliar with Korean culture, K-dramas have led me to believe that this sort of family skinship is quite common. They've also led me to believe that Korean mothers love yelling at their kids and hitting them on the head, and making GIANT batches of kimchi. 

After an outside shot of House Yeonhee (which looks disturbingly American) 



and an extended bonus audio cut of Gwangsu/Mama snoring, we cut to the Record Room, where Yeonhee is complaining that they have to stay there all night with no heat. Chanyeol, who is wearing a blanket from the laundry basket and his sweater, tells her to move closer. *agonized scream* OF COURSE they would make them have to be closer together...! He puts the sweater over her and sniffs that it's an emergency (and heavily implies that if it weren't, she'd NEVER be able to get so close to God Chanyeol). Again, he's having major mood swings today.

Cue a ridiculously long scene of them trying not to look at each other. Finally Chanyeol stands up, dramatically throws off his soft baby yellow blanket, and prepares to spill the beans on his identity. And of F-ing course, the episode ends there.

EXO Next Door (우리 옆집에 EXO가 산다) Episode 11 Recap

Previously: Chanyeol got sick from digging in the front yard, Gwangsu sacrificed himself for Sehun, Kai flirted with Yeonhee some more and left, Yeonhee cut her finger, and D.O. confessed his feelings for her.

This episode begins right where the next one left off (which I find really irritating; 90% of the so-called "cliffhangers" at the end of K-drama episodes are resolved in about a minute in the next episode). Chanyeol comes downstairs, butting into their Romantic Moment. (BTW, why is there a skateboard stuck to the bottom of the stairs?)



In order to avoid invoking Chanyeol's wrath plus a very embarrassing situation, D.O. pretends like they're practicing lines. Chanyeol tells Yeonhee to get back to work, and sends her off with a glare. He similarly sends D.O. off to bed, because he (D.O.) apparently stayed up all night. Sitting on the couch and hugging a giant stuffed bunny, Yeonhee thinks that she's now become D.O.'s "permanent acting partner", which is a perfect job for her, because of all her "religious drama watching." Every fangirl's dream, I guess.

And about the acting in K-dramas--most of it--at least the girls' acting--seems pretty formulaic. They're a little bit sassy/plucky/positive (especially at the beginning), they get REALLY REALLY mad when the guy does anything, they flail, whine, and ruffle their hair, they stuff their cheeks with food, they get drunk *quite* often and stumble around, slurring their speech and spilling secrets. So...yeah, if you watch a lot of dramas, you probably will be able to portray most of the female characters pretty well.

Meanwhile, Chanyeol is in his room, playing an upbeat song on his guitar. Cut to a flashback of Little Yeonhee crying on a playground. *sigh* So here's where their backstory comes in--it seems that most K-drama couples have met before and had some sort of past history/past relationship. Because meeting each other and getting to know each other for the first time is boring and takes too long. Or something. 

Little Chanyeol asks her why she's crying (someone took her teddy bear), and Little Chanyeol says he'll get it back if she stops crying and being a baby. As he walks away, Little Yeonhee blushes. Ah...for goodness' sakes...they're just KIDS...do kids like each other like that?? Little Yeonhee gives him an ugly picture she drew as a thank-you, and blushes again.

Cut back to the present, where Chanyeol looks at the picture and asks his grandpa if Yeonhee knows him or if she's just pretending to be "dense." Chanyeol remembers the times he hinted that he was someone other than EXO's Chanyeol, and does the Irritated Korean Click. He looks at a picture of himself and his grandpa (taken in the room with the record player and the other grandpa stuff) and muses that he doesn't know where it was taken. Oooh, I forsee this becoming a Very Important Plot Point later on.

The next day in the living room, Yeonhee's dusting while D.O. sits on the couch. He thinks to himself that they should discuss what happened yesterday (his confession, not when Sehun clogged up the toilet with a sock). Yeonhee is prepared to rehearse. D.O. comes up behind her and she screams "Don't come close!" (one of the lines she practiced with him). She apologizes, and Chanyeol calls her up to his room in his foghorn voice.

Chanyeol sits his desk and complains that it's dusty. Even though I'm not that dirty-minded at all, I can't help but imagine this turning into a scene where he punishes her for not dusting well enough...in a kinky way, of course. (Now Baekhyun's statement about watching rather than participating takes on a whole new meaning...) Chanyeol hints again that they used to know each other, saying he's been allergic to dust since he was six (is Real Chanyeol tho?), he used to sing H.O.T.'s Candy when he was six, and he put trash in the trash can since he was six (good boy!). He goes on to explain his six-year-old self's wardrobe and favorite games.

Yeonhee starts, surprised that he was always such a good boy, and continues to be utterly clueless about their past relationship. Chanyeol, naturally, gets upset and slams his hand in front of the door as she tries to leave. I TOLD YOU THIS WAS GETTING KINKY!! I swear, this piddly half-parody of a webdrama has more sexually charged moments/sexual tension than several actual dramas I've seen. Chanyeol says that she's dense, and the scene ends. Um, hello? Why did they have to cut at that moment??

In the next scene, Yeonhee paces her room, remembering that Kai called her dense as well. W8, wut?? So Kai knows? Gaeun eyes Yeonhee disparagingly as she paces, also saying Yeonhee's "denser than concrete." Well, no argument there. Gaeun explains that the reason why Chanyeol is acting the way he is is because he wants Yeonhee to join his fan club and become an EXO-L. According to Gaeun, Yeonhee has "insulted" EXO by meeting them and not joining their fanclub. I might try to join if the application process/questions were in English, but I guess I don't love EXO enough to try to wade through confusing pages of Korean. 

In Gwangsu's tent, Sehun flips through a book while Gwangsu sits cross-legged, holds nunchucks, and meditates. Or something. A picture falls out of the book. 



Ooh, Sehun and Gwangsu are going to figure out the Secret of Yeonhee and Chanyeol's relationship, aren't they? Sehun says that Gwangsu was "a cute boy" (ㅋㅋㅋ).The other kids in the picture are Yeonhee and Chanyeol. Sehun recognizes Chanyeol, and asks to borrow the picture for a while. He shows it to D.O. (who gives the obligatory mention that Yeonhee was a cute kid), and they both realize that Chanyeol and Yeonhee must have known each other as kids. Cut to Chanyeol Korean Ruffling his hair. Cut to Yeonhee back in her house, eating and laughing at something on TV. The episode ends there.

EXO Next Door (우리 옆집에 EXO가 산다) Episode 10 Recap

Previously: The rest of EXO meets Yeonhee. Kai flirts with her to make Chanyeol jelly. Grandpa gives Chanyeol some not-so-helpful advice on where to find the necklace. Kai gives Yeonhee some hand cream.

It's night. We open with Chanyeol furiously digging. In, uh, the front yard of House EXO. Not anywhere else. Like, not in any bodily orifices. *AHEM* He tells no one in particular that he's digging under Gramps's favorite tree. He's grunting angrily and jerkily moving the shovel, so you know he's Upset. He throws the shovel and yells "Why the heck can't I find it?" You mean Grandpa's trophies from his kills? His hoard of Hello Kitty stickers? (Yeah, yeah, I know, it's the necklace.) 

Having thrown the shovel, Chanyeol starts furiously pawing in the dirt like a rabid badger. Flashback to Grandpa explaining that he had two necklaces (just in case the idiot audience forgot) and that the second one is "close by". Ooookay...why not turn the house upside down first? Maybe his parents did something to it. Maybe he should dig ALL AROUND THE TREE instead of one small hole. Defeated, Chanyeol falls back on the lawn. Sweaty-haired and looking despondently just past the camera, he mutters "where did he hide it?" 

On a side note, on the street just in front of Chanyeol, there is an HOV lane symbol. I see those quite a bit in K-dramas on Seoul streets, but never one on a quiet residental street. In real life, I've only ever seen them on highways.



Daytime. Chanyeol is lying in bed coughing. Yeah, a night of furious digging will do that to you. What with all the, uh, dirt and stuff. And cold air. Hoooly crap, Koreans are susceptible to colds. I used to think colds were caused by viruses and not cold air.

In the kitchen, Kai, Sehun, Baekhyun, and D.O. are all at the table. Kai's shirt is funny. 



Yeonhee enters, and Kai calls her "Noona." Wait, what??

Okay, Kai was probably 22 (Korean age) when they made this, and Yeonhee is supposed to
be 23 (Korean age), so I guess she IS his noona. That really threw me, though; I thought Kai was a lot older--maybe 25 (for...some...reason...). Kai tells her to take a seat. D.O. is quietly upset, and thinks to himself, "Noona?" [lol, sorry bby] Sorry, D.O., you're the same age (Korean age) as Yeonhee--she's just your 친구 (friend). 

Baekhyun reports to the group that Chanyeol has a cold (dayum, K-drama Koreans are weak), while Sehun smirks (I'm not sure if that was in the script or Real Sehun just decided to smirk at that moment). Yeonhee expresses concern for Chanyeol's health, and D.O. worriedly downs a cup of some unidentified liquid (tea?), realizing he's losing Yeonhee to both Chanyeol and Kai. 
Kai: (too Yeonhee) Can I ask you something? (u just did, buddy)
D.O.: (turning away from his cup) u better not try anything bitch
Kai: I hear you like me most.
D.O.: *screams inwardly*
Sehun: *acts like his favorite soccer, sorry, 축구 team just scored a goal*
Baekhyun: *facepalms*

The one time where Baekhyun is more mature than Sehun...

Yeonhee: Uh, not really.
Sehun: C'mon, you can tell us. It's OK.
Kai: *whispers in Yeonhee's ear* (GAAH SHE GOT SO CLOSE TO KAI AND CHANYEOL) Is the weather nice [?]
D.O.: i keel u kai
Yeonhee: It's lovely.
Baekhyun: *whispers* Yo, dude, I didn't tell you so you could tease her.
Kai: *tries to stab some food with his fork*
D.O. *flips Kai's fork out of the way and gives him bitch eyes* Rest up for your flight.

Kai: Eh, OK. My work here is done anyway.
D.O.: ????
Kai: (to D.O.) Fighting!
D.O. *surprised*
Bakehyun: I'm surrounded by idiots...

Meanwhile, Chanyeol lies in bed, feverish. He hallucinates being Little Chanyeol again with Grandpa feeling his forehead. He reports that Chanyeol is "burning up" and he "did too much digging". [snerk] (I'm sorry; I'm used to hearing the word "digging" used in a much different context.) Chanyeol begs Grandpa to tell him where the pendant is, and Grandpa says he'll give Chanyeol a "big hint." Apparently, the phrase "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer" is the hint. Chanyeol's like "WTH, Grandpa, that's not a hint. Maybe I'm too sick and I'm hallucinating this. BTW, your face looks really red..." Grandpa's face dissolves into Yeonhee's. She leans over him, gently pressing a wet cloth on his face. Hey Yeonhee, maybe you could give him some medicine, too. Just saying...Sweet music plays, and the camera slowly backs away from them.

Baekhyun sees Kai off. They stop in front of House EXO to chat.
Bakehyun: You're just gonna leave? You don't want to see Chanyeol?
Kai: Nah, he's too sick. 
Kai: Keep me updated on the love triangle. "I'll die of curiosity."  (daaang, these guys are like middle school girls)
Baekhyun: OK.
Kai: Go inside; you'll catch a cold too. Bye. See you. Say hi to Suho for me. 
([??] Isn't Suho somewhere else?? And where is Kai going?? Where were Lay, Xiumin, Chen, and Tao?? (during Baekhyun and Xiumin's call, one of them said it was an international call. Maybe they were in China?) Ugh, whatever.)
Kai: *smirks and looks up at the sky dramatically*

Cue flashback of him sneaking up on Yeonhee as she clears the table. Frickin' flashbacks, man, time in this show really is a wibbly wobbly timey wimey ball of stuff.

Kai: *pokes her* Hi.
Yeonhee: *turning around* Hi.
Kai: "You're dense, right?" [?!] (Well, that's certainly an interesting conversation opener!)
Yeonhee: No, not usually.  (O RLY)
Kai: Then why haven't you ever had a boyfriend? Are you stupid when it comes to guys?
Kai: Can't you sense what's going on in this house? 
Uh...Chanyeol's grandpa is haunting it? (oooh, this would be AWESOME for a horror movie)
Yeonhee: It's usually pretty busy...   
Yeah, the groupies are going in and out at all hours, the fans are breaking down the door, 
you know, the usual.

Kai: Can I tell you a secret?
Yeonhee: What?
Kai: NVM. "It's more fun if you don't know."

Back in the present, Baekhyun and Kai agree to meet in ten days, and Kai leaves. The next morning, Yeonhee is feeling up Chanyeol's forehead when D.O. comes in, framed by the morning sunlight, and oh my gosh he's so cute and little! I want to squeeze him, because cuteness inspires feelings of aggression or something. Yeonhee says that Chanyeol still has a high fever, but he "should sleep it off." She leaves to get another towel, and D.O. turns to watch her go.Now, if this was a horror movie or something darker, he'd totally slit Chanyeol's throat right now. No, smothering him with a pillow would be a lot less messy. 

*Satansoo appears*

Look at those murderous eyes. On a side note, he does REALLY good crazy eyes in Lotto.
He mournfully thinks to himself, "I'm the only one who's not close to her." Oooh, I can feel
the angst dripping off the screen. I really want to mock this, but it's D.O., and he looks 
so cute and little and pitiful...

Meanwhile, Sehun is walking down the street, wearing a different, slightly less puffy 
leather jacket and a very ugly hat. He sees Gwangsu standing at the other end of the 
street, holding one of those ubiquitous Korean black grocery bags. Sehun yells "Hey, brother!" in English, and hurries to hug Gwangsu and say that he (Sehun) missed him (Gwangsu). Aww, skinship! Sehun asks what's in the bag, and Gwangsu responds that it's apples. What, is he gonna make Yeonhee slip on an apple peel now?

Just then, the three schoolgirls from before appear. One of them stops her friends
and says, "Hey, aren't those guys over there EXO members?" Uh, this girl seriously
needs her eyes checked. IF they are big enough fans of EXO to stalk them and find their
house, then they should sure as heck know all the members, and should definitely know how they look from a distance. I can do this with VIXX, EXO, and BTS. Heck, I can do this with Infinite and Beast, and I barely even know their names.

Fortunately, one of her friends has better eyes, and responds that one of them "definitely isn't"; he's "ugly-ass." One of them recognizes Sehun (the Korean pronunciation of Sehun always throws me; I prounounce it out loud and mentally as "See-hun", but it's actually pronounced "Say-hoon") and they start screaming and jumping up and down.

A look of pure terror comes over Sehun's face and he and Gwangsu flee for their lives. The girls chase them, and the shooting style during this scene is very reminiscent of a zombie chase. Poor celebrities--especially EXO. I think I read somewhere that crazy fans stalked them and tried to get their hair or bodily fluids. I guess that's like being chased by zombies. Now VIXX fans--at least the fans that they meet with--are nearly always calm, quiet, and respectful. Korean k-pop fans--especially VIXX fans--are SO LUCKY, oh my word. They don't have to twist their tongues around a whole new language before they can even TALK to them (Yes, I know some k-pop stars speak English very well, like Key from SHINee--daaang boy), they can go to fanmeets/fansigns, they can easily join fancafes, they can read social media posts by their favorite stars, they don't have to travel hundreds of miles to go to fanmeets or concerts, they don't have to depend on the graciousness of other fans to sub videos, and I could go on.

Anyway, Sehun and Gwangsu take refuge between a car and a hedge. The girls run past, screaming. Apparently, Sehun is winded after the short run and says he "might die." Uh, sorry, isn't he supposed to be able to dance and sing for hours? Isn't he required to have massive amounts of stamina? (Not THAT kind of stamina) 

Sehun says they might have to move, because no one can know where EXO's house is. Ooh, intrigue-y-ness and spy stuff. And...I kind of thought that the dorm locations of some K-pop stars were fairly common knowledge...whatever. Gwangsu takes Sehun's hat and runs off, pretending to be Sehun. The girls take chase, Gwangsu runs away in slo-mo, and Sehun dramatically reaches out after Sehun and yells "My friend!" in slo-mo.

His face kinda looks like one of those Greek tragedy masks...

Meanwhile, Yeonhee is arranging crap in the kitchen. Behind her there is a fricken giant poster of EXO. If I had to live in a house with giant posters of me and my friends everywhere, I'd deface them no matter how good I looked just for laughs. Because, really, who wants to see their face everywhere, all the time, unless they're some kind of narcissist?

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE.

D.O. comes in and scares her, making her drop a plate. They're about the same height, and oh my gosh he is so cute and squeezable. They both say that they'll clean it up and make a dive for the floor at the same time. I was actually expecting them to bang heads. HEADS, not anything else. ;) Yeonhee cuts herself, because K-drama girls are made of stupidity and tissue paper. D.O. is like "I told you I'd do it." (And then he rises up and screams "WHY DO YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!?!" and stabs her with one of the plate pieces.)

Nah, he takes her to the living room and puts a bandage on her. In the background, there is ANOTHER giant picture of EXO. Chen is staring off to the left judgingly.



After D.O. bandages her finger, he tells her to raise her arms. Yeonhee thinks he's punishing her (Koreans sometimes punish someone by making them face a corner and put their arms up), but D.O. says that'll make the bleeding stop faster and smiles and laughs adorably.

D.O. says that he feels like he's not very close to her, but Yeonhee disagrees, stating that she's the most comfortable around him. Yeah, I get that. I mean, it's like he's a teddy bear come to life. If it weren't for all the Satansoo stuff circling around, I'd see him as the least threatening k-pop star ever. I could probably take D.O. At least I could sit on him and squash him to death if need be. Ah, crap...I've gone from thinking he's the cutest thing ever to thinking about crushing him to death in 10 seconds...I'm so sorry bby.

Other k-pop stars I see as extremely non-threatening to my health and wellbeing (from the limited stuff I've seen of them and my own personal perceptions) are N and Ken from VIXX,

(so cute and fluffy and sweet, tho N could/would probably slap me to death)

Woozi from Seventeen (seriously, that dude is so tiny),

Ryeowook from Super Junior/Super Junior M,

 Xiao from Up10tion,

and Sangmin from Cross Gene (he looks scary, but he seems super sweet and maybe a little ditzy).

Anyway, D.O. asks if he can be the guy that she likes the most, and the episode ends. 

Note: Part of the quotes and all the gifs for this post are from another site since KissAsian is down.

EXO Next Door (우리 옆집에 EXO가 산다) Episode 9 Recap

Previously: Chanyeol is jelly of Hawt Guy. The Fab Four think that Yeonhee likes Kai. Kai enters House EXO.

We begin with a shot of Tao, Xiumin, Lay, and Chen walking into a room and greeting the rest of EXO. YAY YAY YAY MORE XIUMIN AND FINALLY CHEN...! I guess EXO-M was separated from EXO-K for a long time...wait, did EXO-M still exist then? We get some nice shots of them greeting, smiling, hugging, and being all cutesy, with some nice EXO background music (Lucky). A few months ago, I wouldn't have known most of these guys from Adam. However, after hours of watching their MVs extensive research, I now know who's who. EXO Showtime was a blessing in helping me figure out who the heck was who, because their MVs are a really crappy way to learn their faces and names--especially Overdose--you can hardly even see their faces.

"Get off my foot, Chen. Holy crap, that hurts."

Apparently, EXO is there for a photoshoot, so they disperse to get their hair and makeup done. They grin at each other like they're on happy pills or sharing some massive joke. 

"I just love you so much, Kai. Much more than Chanyeol. Seriously."

There's a montage of Tao and Xiumin doing a photoshoot together and being all funny and silly and cutesy and I'm so happy that I finally get to see them ~ ~ <3 <3  
Kai and Suho look on and laugh at them.

"xiumin ur 26 pls stop"

"Wait till they see how they get photoshopped..."

"PHOTOSHOOTS ARE FUNNY, HA HA."

Kai and Suho do their photoshoot next. Chen, meanwhile, is handing out food to the crew, and being all smiley and sweet. I would accuse him of faking to look good, but he did something similar on EXO Showtime. Even though poor Kai has nasty hair again that makes him look like a 30 year old creepy uncle (though it's nowhere near as bad as it was in Call Me Baby--blegh), Suho looks quite good. ;)  Apparently, Chanyeol and D.O. share my sentiment, because they notice with relief that Suho looks good (though they actually mean that he looks well enough to start dancing again). 
Sehun: *longingly* Look at Kai tho! He's so masculine.
Chanyeol: Duh, you idiot. He's not a girl.  
Sehun: *thoroughly chewed out* Uh, yeah.

Lay: *plays guitar*
Baekhyun: *sings*
Fangirls: *scream and die*
Lay: Hey Baekhyun, you think Chanyeol seemed a little stressed about song writing lately?   (LAY IS TALKING OMO!)
Baekhyun: "Art is agony. You know that."   [lol]
Lay: *nods*
Yeah, I think Lay does know. After all, he was able to make Mr. Happy-About-Everything Chanyeol (Real Chanyeol) feel depressed.

Chen: *entering* I have coffee! Who wants some! (CHENNNN)
Chen: *gives coffee to Xiumin*
Xiumin: "Wow, Fairy Chen Mother!"   [LOLOL]
Baekhyun: What's a Fairy Chen Mother?
Lay: Chen takes care of us like a fairy godmother, so we call him that. (Awww.)
I wouldn't mind having a Fairy Chen Mother--provided he could do the same things as a fairy godmother. Sure, he'd be nice to look at, but I'd rather have someone with actual magic powers. 

"At least he tries; this coffee is seriously crap."

I'm finding Lay's part in this kind of surreal, because he almost never talks or does anything in EXO Showtime (or at least they cut out his parts). At least he seems to be pretty good at playing himself; he's not nearly as wooden as I thought he'd be. And I hear through the KissAsian grapevine that he's been in a few C-dramas and is pretty good.

Baekhyun: Guess what. We have a secret member. It's Incheon Gal.
Xiumin: Oh yeah, your house cleaner, right?
Tao: *looking very excited* Is she pretty? [LOL TAO]
Baekhyun: I dunno. But she cleans the house well. [??] wut, baekhyun?? u don't have an opinion on whether she's pretty or not? Maybe he *does* only have eyes for Taeyeon...
Tao: I hear she's good at killing cockroaches. [LOLOLOL] 
(On a mostly unrelated note, Tao's Korean accent seems to have improved
since EXO Showtime days. I'm happy for him. Also, the poor hair girl keeps trying to fix Baekhyun's hair, but he keeps turning and moving and wriggling.)
Tao: (to Chanyeol) I want to meet her. Call her and make her come here. 

Well well, someone's assertive. And interestingly enough, for all his girly-ness and sensitivity (seriously. he is such a little girl), Tao seems like he'd actually do that in real life.
Chanyeol: Why would I do that?
Baekhyun: u chicken man? "Does your heart race or something?" 

Why did they give Baekhyun hot pink lipstick again??

Chanyeol: *freaking* (he does a surprisingly good job, lol) Why would I be nervous?
Chen, Baekhyun, Xiumin, Tao, and Lay: Let us see. Let us see. Let us see.
Chanyeol: Okay, okay! Chill. *calls Yeonhee*

Yeonhee: *enters the photoshoot room and is almost instantly blinded by
the hotness of Tao, Xiumin, Chen, and Lay*
All of them: *greet her and compliment her appearance*
Chen: *is sadly a wooden actor*
Tao: *stares with empty eyes*
(seriously, Tao's lights are on, but no one is home)

The four of them leave, so Yeonhee is free to check out Chanyeol as he does his photoshoot. Kai comes up to her and circles around her like she's a UFO or an alien artifact that just fell out of the sky. He brings her just outside the room, where it's more quiet. As they sit down, Chanyeol (who can see them through the open door) agonizes about what they could POSSIBLY be doing (they're just talking, bro. It's not like Kai's gonna jump her bones right there in the hallway). Chanyeol starts messing up the photoshoot by squirming and looking away from the camera. His irises look like little chocolate balls (I'm craving chocolate, shoot me). 

"I'm going to kill you and wear your skin."

Kai breaks out the charm and asks Yeonhee why she's there. She explains she came to give a folder to Chanyeol (lol, way to cover your back, dude), who is becoming more agitated by the second. They're obviously discussing their plans to sew the EXO members (sans Kai) butt to mouth for the Korean version of Human Centipede. C'mon, it's a strategic move. Get EXO member(s) in a movie or show, and people are bound to watch it no matter the quality *cough* Scarlet Heart Ryeo *cough* 

Just look at them, conspiring.

Kai leaves to do the group photoshoot, but he tells her to stay where she is. D.O. greets her, is adorable, and takes the folder from her to give to Chanyeol. A staff member closes the doors, leaving her in the hallway alone. We get a nice shot of their group photo (was this an actual photoshoot?) and then the scene switches to House EXO, where Chanyeol moodily climbs into bed (fully clothed though, sorry) and wangsts about the fact that Yeonhee
likes Kai instead of him. Hey, instead of wangsting, he could go throw darts at one of those giant Kai posters. Just an idea.

"You are SO dead, Kai."

He dreams that he's a kid again, and his grandpa is berating him for losing "it...not once, but twice." What, his virginity? (I'm so sorry). Chanyeol explains that he broke it (the necklace, of course), but Grandpa is very cryptic, telling him only that it's "close by." Maybe it's a bad translation. So it's in the house? Didn't we already establish that in what, Episode 2?

Later, Chanyeol moodily makes coffee and watches Kai and Yeonhee wiping dishes. (Totally unrelated, but there's an awesome balloon animal statue on the shelf behind Chanyeol.)  

"How can I kill him and make it look like an accident?"

Kai: Don't be so polite.
Yeonhee: Okay. *smashes a plate over his head* (Unfortunately, she doesn't actually do this).
Kai: If you're too polite, we can't be friends.
Kai is even more charming than before, perhaps even a bit flirty. He's playing on Chanyeol's jealousy and insecurity, and enjoying every second of it. Chanyeol wonders "Did he learn the art of seduction?" [lol] I doubt very highly that Kai needs to be seductive in the slightest; I'm sure every EXO member has an army of fangirls that would do anything for them, no seduction required.

Kai decides to screw with Chanyeol even more. He takes Yeonhee to the fridge (she muses about how good he looks, even in front of the fridge) [?], pulls out some hand cream, and gives it to her. Chanyeol, meanwhile, is acting like they're going to do it inside the fridge if he doesn't intervene. Kai explains that she'll need the hand cream, because the Fab Four keep her busy doing housework. As he says this, he throws several glances over his shoulder at Chanyeol, who is smoldering with rage. And there the episode ends.