We cut to our main character (Yeonhee), who is standing in front of a convenience store, looking utterly terrified at the thought of going inside. (BTW, S. Korean convenience stores are AWESOME.) Her cheeks are a hideous, chalk-like shade of neon pink.
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| Get used to this look. Get really, REALLY used to this look. |
She gives herself a pep talk, and we cut to inside the store, where an inept/possibly stoned cashier is taking an overly long time to ring up her packet of sanitary pads. Lol. Yeonhee tells him to hurry, but he keeps getting distracted by a drunk guy stumbling around in the
background.
As Yeonhee is paying, the drunk guy stumbles up behind her. The cashier asks if she wants another one (they're buy 2 get 1 free! Nice!), prompting Yeonhee to scream out that it's her last day. Well, some sophisticated people might not appreciate this kind of comedy, but for aficionados of bathroom humor like myself, this scene is utterly hilarious. The cashier just stares at her, and Yeonhee flees the store.
Yeonhee walks home, complaining that her face is burning and presses her palms to her cheeks. The face in question is--I kid you not--GLOWING IN THE DARK. It looks like someone spray-painted her face hot pink. She turns onto another street and notices the four guys from the intro walking slowly along behind her. Creepy music plays, and we see alternate shots of her feet speeding up and their feet speeding up. That's nice. I really appreciate nice foot shots. Sometimes I get tired of seeing faces, you know? Sometimes filmmakers get it RIGHT (see: Kill Bill movies).
The guys have a cryptic discussion that makes them sound like they killed someone and need a place to dump the body. One of them wonders offhandedly why "Matilda" is so heavy. Yeonhee freaks, and in her mind's eye she sees a dead white girl with the guys standing over her. At that exact moment, one of the streetlights goes out, Yeonhee slips on a banana peel, and the pads go flying out of her bag right towards the guys.
The package lands right in front of the guys, and one of them picks it up with a "WTF?" look on his face. Meanwhile, Yeonhee is lying on her back in the street, her eyes squeezed shut, praying they won't kill her. Wow, she's accepting her death very well. Even girls in horror movies scream and struggle at least a little. Instead of running, Yeonhee tries to wish them away, as if the power of her mind will make them not come. (Insert joke about K-drama girls having no willpower or mindpower whatsoever here.)
Hesitatingly, she opens her eyes to see the guys leaning over her. Okay, they do look kind of scary, but it's the masks. I have been (and I'm sure most other people have been as well) taught from a young age that surgical masks are things mad scientists wear when they're cutting you up.
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| Yep, DEFINITELY in Hell. |
Yeonhee jumps up, screeches, flails ineffectively at them with the now-empty bag, and runs like the wind.
날 따라 뛰어봐 Run,
처음부터 Hello Hello, E-yo
이대로 너와 나 Run,
이 손을 놓지 말아요, E-yo...
Seriously, she runs like the Flash into her house, past her mother and brother, who are eating a buttload of bananas. So THAT'S where the banana peel came from, right?The guys shake their heads and wonder at this strange creature. (And in case you're wondering, no, we never see or hear of the pads again.)
Throwing herself on her bed, Yeonhee furiously fans her face. The door bursts open, and her brother runs in, doing over-the-top martial arts poses. He informs her that some "good looking" guys are moving in next door. Ooh la la. Yeonhee stops fanning herself and blushes. Her brother wonders what she's thinking about. Dude, seriously? You're a teenage boy. It's pretty obvious what she's thinking about. Yeonhee yells at him to get out, and shoots a pink Nerf gun [!] at him until he leaves. Lying back, Yeonhee imagines the possibilities of the "good-looking" guys.
Apparently, the inside of her head is quite plain and quite red, with cartoon guys (who seem to be white, actually) floating around in bubbles and giving her flowers [?]. I guess the show's CGI budget wasn't very big. The inside of my head is a lot blacker and bluer. And with a lot less hot guys. None, to be exact.
The sound of a rooster crowing and Yeonhee's mom's voice yelling "Breakfast!" cut into her dreams. Whoa, nights in S. Korea are short. Mama yells at Yeonhee to get up, slapping her repeatedly. Yeonhee screeches at the unwarrented assault. Apparently, if Yeonhee wants to live like a "loser", she should pay rent, because Mama is a realtor and she knows all about...rent, and such. Mama leaves in a huff, having been unable to wrestle her daughter out of bed.
Instead of going to breakfast, Yeonhee recalls a statement one of the guys said last night--that "it" would be all over the internet the next day. So, naturally, she looks up "blonde woman murdered". Lol. So she thinks people likely to be named Matilda (namely, English speakers) are blonde?
Okay, I know I like to imagine all Koreans as the gorgeous, perfect-skinned people in dramas, or the inhumanly beautiful K-pop stars (see: Hongbin from VIXX or L from Infinite), and I'm sure Koreans like to imagine all Americans (and therefore most English speakers) as blonde, tanned, blue-eyed, big-busted (the lllladies) and muscular (the
guys). Unfortunately, most of us are pretty darn fat, pasty, and brown-haired. So...no, if you're looking for murdered Americans or English speakers in Korea, they will probably not be blonde.
Her phone says there are no search results. What kind of crappy search engine is she using? Naver? (sorrynotsorry) Understandably, Yeonhee is confused, and therefore immediately searches for EXO [?]. Okay, I guess she has ADD. It seems that one of the members, Suho has been hurt (NOO!! Suho bby!), and their tour is canceled. Mama screeches at her again to come to breakfast, and the scene ends.
At breakfast, Mama reports that there are guys moving in next door and gives Yeonhee a card (a keycard?) to give to them. Yeonhee unsuccessfully tries to pawn off the responsibility on her mother and brother. In yet another dig at her daughter, Mama tells her to "eat up" and calls Gwangsu her "sweet boy." He relishes the attention and sticks out his tongue at Yeonhee. Taking a disparaging look at Yeonhee's pajamas, Mama tells her to get dressed up so she can make a good first impression. Cut to Yeonhee trying on a series of different outfits and a series of different greetings.
The doorbell rings, and she excitedly greets the new neighbors...who are ugly, even by American standards. Stunned and disappointed, Yeonhee gives them the card and retreats to the sanctuary of her bed. We learn through voiceover exposition that she's 23 and has never had a boyfriend yet. Well, I'm getting there. I feel ya girl. Apparently, she's had plenty of dates, but they were all too boring/ugly/weird.
Despite her ability to get dates, however, she has One Big Flaw. She freezes up around guys she likes and blushes like someone dipped her face in hot pink chalk. She turns into "a red rock". Lol. So she's lava? Cool. Flashback to when she's in school and looking like a Korean girl version of Harry Potter.
She's waiting for a Hawt Guy so she can give him a present. (Ugh, I'm getting Boys Before Flowers flashbacks.) He greets her cordially enough and asked why she wanted to meet, but...of course, she's speechless. She stammers and blushes, and he eventually walks away. At least he didn't dump food on her or tell her to lick his shoes.
In the present, Yeonhee abandons all hope of falling in love with a cute guy next door, and sprawls on the couch in her pajamas, stuffs her face with popcorn, and watches what looks like an EXO reality show on TV. She sighs as she gazes at EXO, and every fangirl is identifying with her. Gwangsu is hitting a hat tree, making all sorts of exaggerated martial arts noises. Something tells me he and Bo Tong's brother would get along very well. She screeches at him to be quiet.
He pauses for a moment and looks out the window. Some Hawt Guys (EXO) are strolling around in the neighbors' yard, checking out the scenery. He wonders why she thought the neighbors were ugly, and she confirms that they were indeed "ugly-ass". [lol] Her brother compares the neighbors to the guys on TV, and notes with confusion that they look alike. (Wait, they air K-pop reality shows in Korea?? So Korean fangirls can see their idols on TV instead of having to make do with potato-quality YouTube videos that may or may not have subtitles?) In true fangirl fashion, Yeonhee screeches at him and slaps his head, prompting him to angrily retaliate with a series of ridiculous-looking martial arts poses. It's nice to know that sibling squabbles are not constrained by language or culture.
Mama enters (cue shrieking violins) and gives Yeonhee a package to bring next door. Wailing like she'll have to go to the dentist every day for the rest of her life, Yeonhee desperately tries to talk her mom out of it. Mama threatens to kick Yeonhee out and rent her room, so Yeonhee reluctantly sets out on a dangerous quest to deliver rice cakes (yum yum yum) to the neighbors.
Seeing no one in the house (though somehow missing several giant posters of EXO that are on the walls) Yeonhee decides to leave the rice cakes on the kitchen table. (Note: she is still in her pajamas.) However, after she sniffs the delicious aroma of the fresh rice cakes, she decides to open the package and taste one.
Oh nononono. I'm already cringing, and she hasn't even opened the box yet. She bites into one, then starts choking (OK, I didn't see that coming) so she steals a bottle of water from the fridge (which has even MORE posters of EXO on it). As she's drinking, the Fab Four (the members of EXO who are staying in the house and starring in this show) enter. Their entrance is accompanied by a Dramatic Guitar Chord so we know that this is a Very Important Moment.
Yeonhee pauses, her cheeks full of water, and we get nice, fanservice-y shots of all four of them. The morning sunlight streaming in through the windows to their left is a really nice touch. Chanyeol asks her who she is (a rather reasonable reaction to a stranger standing in your kitchen wearing pajamas and drinking your water).
Yeonhee pauses...
...And SPITS the water all over him in slo-mo.
I wonder if the actress is proud of this.
"So what do you do?"
"Oh, I'm an actress."
"Really? What was your most memorable role?"
"I got to spit a giant mouthful of spittle and water on Chanyeol from
EXO."
Baekhyun cringes spectacularly, Sehun laughs, and D.O. looks slightly concerned but mostly stoned. Yeonhee freaks, and the episode ends with her realizing EXO DOES live next door.
Hey, at least she won't just be another EXO fan. I have an utter horror of being "just another fan", so when I finally get to meet VIXX, I'm going to stick Ravi headfirst down a trashcan. THEN they'll remember me.
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